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| help? |
| 10.13.04 (9:16 pm) [edit] |
I went to my friend Leslie's again this past weekend. Her and her ex are more or less together again; but they aren't "official," if you will. I don't know if I trust him or not, cause, I mean, he hit her before, he'll do it again, right? No offense, guys, but I don't think that men change. I'd rather her stay with Scott than be with Ed though. Ed is the loser who stole a bunch of shit from her. He has her car, and he can get into her apartment whenever he pleases. I'm afraid that he's going to hurt her worse than with just words and actions.
I don't know anymore. It seems like things have settled down though. Scott called my cell on Saturday, looking for Leslie, and he told me that it was "so hard for him to sit there and not come to her studio to beat the crap out of Ed." I laughed. I really did. I would beat the hell out of Ed if he ever hurt Leslie again. Anyone who knows me knows it's true. (General Cheese, if you read this; that's for you! wink) I'm like that with all of my friends. Nobody hurts them and gets away with it.
I was at the school by my dad's house with my 2 brothers, Dalton and William and a friend of mine came over. Eloise and her son, Micheal. The three boys and some neighbor kids were playing, and so Eloise and I were talking. She had her head turned, so ... (dun, dun, dun, scary music!) I tackled her. It was fun!!! Of course I had twisted wrong and she landed on my leg instead of just the ground. I've got a huge bruise on my butt, and like, four on my knee, as well as a huge one on my shin. It hurts!!! hehehehe... but it was worth it.
Later on Friday night, Eloise and I went for a walk around my dad's town. It was cool and scary and dark. I had one of my knives hidden in my shirt "just in case." I wasn't about to be mugged! I had like, $100 on me. -nods- We did quite a bit of talking about Thomas, and my future and stuff. It was ... odd; but it was good to have someone to talk to.
I miss Thomas so much. I think about him all the time. In English we had to write a paper with one of our memoirs, and I used mine about Thomas. I wrote 19 pages total; it was A LOT of writing. I cried through most of it. I talked about what the future should have held; and that was the worst; I cried SO much. I said that he and I would have been at each other's weddings, and his kids would have been at my kid's weddings, and vice versa, and how when we were old, we would be in the same nursing home with his cousin Gary and the three of us would pull all sorts of pranks. We should have stolen old people's teeth together, and other things... of course, we would have all been old too; so it would be even more fun.
I need to stop writing that now; I'm going to start crying again, and if I start, I won't stop. Mwah. :cry: Saturday night when me and Leslie and Scott were coming home from eating out we talked about Thomas and I cried then. I told her to not get me crying or I wouldn't be able to stop; and I was trying to not cry all night. I laughed and said "I told you so!" Yeah.
There's so much I want to say yet, but I don't know how to word it. I hate that!
We talked a lot, me and Leslie. When we were going to Scott's house, she told me about the day that Thomas was killed. She said she kept saying "I need to call Sara" over and over again; and that she couldn't, because it was too hard. I almost cried right there. She finally just left a message on my dad's phone. It started out so strong, and then she broke up; began crying so hard. I did cry then; that day I cried a lot.
I don't want to talk about that right now. I don't want to keep track of all the times I've cried. I don't want to know how many tears I've shed. I'm going to keep crying until I feel I can stand tall without crying; and then maybe I'll look back. You never know what your future holds.
Oh; and while Thomas was alive, he told me that his cousin, Gary has a crush on me. I like him too; as a little more than a friend; but I feel like it's wrong. I had a HUGE crush on Thomas; I feel like I'm betraying Thomas' memory by liking Gary. Does that make sense? Is that betrayal? Am I really betraying Thomas' memory by liking his cousin, his best friend?
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| not again |
| 09.26.04 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
once again my mom is underestimating me and treating me like I'm a child. Or at least, that's how I perceive it.
A good friend of mine is going through a lot of crap right now, and I'm trying to be there for her as much as I can. Now, threats are going around to everyone by everyone, and she's been threatened. I told my mom part of what was going on, and on the way home today, she got all the rest of the details.
Now, she doesn't want me to hang with that friend anymore for fear that I'm going to get myself killed or something. I know how to protect myself, and the chances that something like that would ever happen are very slim. And even if something like that were to happen, if I could choose how I wanted to die, it would be to die saving a friend's life.
It's the same thing with the army. She thinks I'm going to get myself killed. I don't understand why she won't trust me and treat me like an adult.
I'm already involved with this whole situation, and it's not like if I completely avoid everyone that it would be like i was never involved. I'm already tangled in the web, as is everyone else. There's nothing anyone can do or say to get me to leave my friend's side. Not at such a time when she needs someone she can trust!
I'm not like that.
I'm really upset right now. For a lot of reasons. One, because school is getting to me. Two, because I work so much for my mom and rarely get paid. Three, because I so desperately want to be there for my friend and I know I can't be there because of school. I'm so worried about her; and I know she's an adult and she can take care of herself, but I dunno. I really want to be there for her.
I'm completely torn.
Again.
I think I'm gonna try to talk to my school counseler tomorrow cause my mom won't get me an appointment with my psychotherapist. :x All she would have to do is call and say "my daughter needs an appointment" and poof! I'm in. -sigh- Whatever.
She doesn't understand what it's like for me to be holding all this in, with all my own problems as well. She doesn't know what it's doing to me. I bet she doesn't care.
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| In The Army |
| 09.22.04 (5:58 pm) [edit] |
Well now that I've pissed off everyone I know by wanting to join the army, life couldn't be better! I mean, it's good to know that my mom believes in me; she truly believes that I can make it through basic training. And a good friend of mine, Eloise is convinced that I'll make it safely home, if ever I'm deployed.
HA!
My mom doesn't think I can do it. She thinks I'm weak or something. Well let me tell you something. I've lived 17 years, and I've gone through EVERYTHING that most people only hear about. And she calls me weak.
My stepdad thinks I'm some sort of naive child or something, that I don't know the risks involved. Well, I hear the news sometimes; I know of the dangers. But look on the bright side; see how many thousands of soldiers DON'T ever see action, and NEVER get shot at.
And my friend Eloise is sure that if I go to Iraq or whatever, that I'll end up getting blown up by a suicide bomber. I'm not stupid. I'm not going to walk up to random people or anything.
My dad tells me that there are other options out there, like being an EMT. There are as many risks involved with doing that as there are being in the army.
I don't understand it. Nobody sees who I truly am, I guess. they don't see past my façade that I play so very well. I'm not weak, or naive, or childish in the least. I hold my burdens well, and though I feel like my back is breaking sometimes, I still carry on, and I still have the strength to help my friends. And when I'm physically exhausted, I try to keep going. I really try. I'm not childish; sure, sometimes I can be ... not my age, but that's the world I live in. In this town, there are few mature people I can talk to. Except for my friends, they know I love them. -grin-
Whatever. I guess I won't tell anyone what I want to do anymore, cause i'll just get criticized.
Oh, and you want another example of how much faith my mother has in me? I came home from school today and told her midterms are coming out on friday. she said "any surprises for me there" I nodded with something of a grin, and she says, without missing a beat, "What are you failing now?" Gee, thanks mom! I guess getting an "A" doesn't qualify as a surprise? Whatever, yo.
I'm out.
peace
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| hey Lynette |
| 09.13.04 (4:03 pm) [edit] |
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Brooke said you had read this, and said I hadn't updated in a while, so I guess I'll just write to you and brooke. So how's work been? School has been ok, I guess. Lotsa homework. I hate homework, but yeah; what can I do?
Hey brooke.I talk to you every day, so not much to say to you. How's work? hehe... I'm still mad at my mom, but not as much. I dunno.
I worked for my mom all weekend, and she was cranky all weekend, moreso than I am. I don't think she ever said thanks for the help or anything. Oh well. I'll get over it. Mwah.
Anyway, I'm gonna go. I got lotsa emails to write and ... stuff. hahaha!
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| torn |
| 08.14.04 (12:05 pm) [edit] |
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I'm sitting here at my computer desk glancing at the phone every five seconds; willing it to ring, willing the caller to be Leslie. Her mom said she'd have her call me. There's a lot I have to say and everything, but she just isn't calling. I really need to talk to her, I really do. Every kid on a trick bike I see is Thomas, and every car I see is the one he's in; it's going to drive me crazy. I've been fighting back tears all day. I got off the phone with Leslie's mom, and started bawling. She told me about some of Thomas' habits. She said that every time he came to her house, he'd get a glass of water or milk and leave a half glass by the sink. She also said that she's tempted to leave a half glass of water by his coffin. I also never realized how hard it would be to say his name. I showed my dad the picture that I posted below and I couldn't say it. I couldn't say 'Thomas.' Well, here's the picture.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/saraimage s/createdimages/safearriv al.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/saraimage s/createdimages/safearriv al.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...
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| to my mother -poem- |
| 08.13.04 (6:53 pm) [edit] |
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TO MY MOTHER
My dearest mother, please don’t cry
For I’m not really gone,
I've merely donned the wings to fly
To paint the sky at dawn.
God says He knows you love me
As much as I love you
And He sent you a rainbow,
A gift from me to you
He said He’s truly sorry
This happened to you
So He sends a lot of love
Give some to our loved ones too.
Mother, I know what’s on your mind
Let me explain something please,
Though you may question yourself at times
You are the best Mother you could be.
You taught me everything
That I’d ever need to know
Even silly little things
Like don’t eat yellow snow.
You taught me how to persevere
And to never give up hope
You taught me right from wrong
And how to always cope.
I know that this is difficult
But I know that you will try.
The saddest word you’ll ever say
Will always be “good-bye”
Just remember, Mom though I’m not here,
I’m never really gone,
Look for me, you’ll always see Me painting the sky at dawn.
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| let there be light -poem- |
| 08.13.04 (6:52 pm) [edit] |
LET THERE BE LIGHT
When God said, “Let there be light!”
He placed you in your mother’s arms
To brighten up our darkest days
With your cheeriness and charms.
When God said, “Let there be light!”
In His glory he could not foretell
The number of those who loved you
Or with friends, how you would excel.
When God said, “Let there be light!”
He gave you to everyone
To shine on us so brightly
You were just like the sun.
When God said, “Let there be night!”
He took you from this world
Maybe He didn’t quite see
Your wings hadn’t been unfurled.
And though you are in Heaven
It’s true you aren’t really gone
We can see you every day When you paint the sky at dawn.
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| car crash |
| 08.13.04 (2:00 pm) [edit] |
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Hi all.
I really need to vent right now, so please don't interrupt, I might not be able to continue.
One of my good friends died in a car accident on wednesday, i just found out today. happy friday the 13th everyone. the car he was riding in was rear ended; he and his grandparents were stopping for a semi making a left turn and the truck ran into them. It took the crews 3 1/2 hours to clean up the debris. You see this on tv all the time, never expecting it to happen to you. I feel so bad for his mom. I can't imagine what she must be going through, but I guarantee it's a million times worse than what i'm going through. it's like a hole that's been torn in your chest.
i really hope that she'll be ok; i mean, it was her firstborn and all; it's so depressing. his funeral is on monday.
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| blood of the innocent |
| 08.01.04 (10:08 am) [edit] |
My mother has been such a bitch to me recently. Ever since my brother got home from my dad's. She's been coddling and pampering him; giving him everything he wants, waiting on him hand and freaking foot. She tickles his arms and legs when he has hands; he can do it himself, and when I have an itch in the center of my back where I can't reach; she won't scratch it for a second.
My brother was looking at my stuff I keep in a binder, and my mom sat there watching him, but when I touched his pink bunny that he loves to death, (he's 10 years old, my brother) my mom bitches at me and tells me to give him back his rabbit. She doesn't understand the stress I'm under right now. My senior year is this year, (whenever it FINALLY starts;) and I'm short credits. I will have to struggle to graduate and I don't do well in school anyway. She's got me working ALL summer and she WON'T pay me unless I beg her until she finally gets pissed off enough to pay me what I EARNED. But my brother "works" for an hour and gets what... $20??? All he did was brush a horse; and not even a very good job. I help set up, tear down, handle all the money, handle little kids, brush all the tangles out of manes and tails, and put up with everyone's shit. And I only get $5 an hour! That's less than minimum wage!
My brother is such an asshole to me; he does everything he can to piss me off cause he knows I can't touch him. If I go within five feet of him, he squeals like a little girl and I get yelled at. I'm losing control of myself. I'm beginning to feel that I don't belong here. I'd move to my dad's, but his fiance would drive me completely over the edge. She's a drunkard. I have nowhere I can go, pretty much. I'd move in with a friend, but I don't like her boyfriend; he's using her as the last one did, just not so violently. I'd live with my aunt and grandma, but my grandma would force me to do stupid work such as the times tables which I already know, thank you. She'd force me to look up words in the dictionary which I know a lot of them already.
I have nowhere I can go to get away from everyone. I feel like I'm trapped with the walls closing in, slowly suffocating me. The noose is already around my neck, and it's slowly tightening. I'm on the verge of tears right now, and I DON'T cry that often. I'm ready to just jump. I can't fly, so it would be perfect. My darling brother could have the pefect family; the stepdad, and the mommy. No big sister who's a bitch to him; nothing like that. Cause I'm just so awful you know. I pick on him when he just doesn't do anything. It's so fun! (chokes on sarcasm)
I hate it all. I just want it all to end. I want it to end now. I want to just break down and cry for everything that I've endured in my 17 years. I want to be held so I can cry all my frustrations. Someone hold me.
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| updates |
| 07.26.04 (3:03 pm) [edit] |
Ok, it's been a few days since I last posted and I figured I'd update. My mom and Jerry are still fighting a little bit, but for the most part, things have cooled down immensely. We got home from another 5 day pony wheel event and I'm about ready to die from exhaustion. My mom and I had to tear down everything by ourselves and then take the 4 hour drive back home. By ourselves. Ok, let me start with the beginning of the teardown. We had to take the gates down which are only about 10 pounds each. No problem. Then we had to drag the mats into the trailer; the mats are 90 + pounds each, and we had somewhere around 12 of them. And dragging them makes it all worse, cause we can't carry them. Then we had to take the arms off the wheel. Again, only around 20 pounds each times 6 arms. Then we had to drop the tent which was especially difficult cause it was windy, there was a jeep to one side of us, and another trailer to the other. We had to fold and drag the tent to the trailer. Our tent is somewhere in the upper 100 pounds ++ weight, which really sucks. Then we had to load all the poles and tent stakes, go get the ponies, load them, clean the pens, and go home. It sucked. AND before that, we had to lift the little kids ONTO the ponies. I'm ready for bed. -zzZZzz-
Anyway, things are going pretty well, and stuff... so I think I'll survive for a while.
:D
love to all.
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| beaten and broken |
| 07.19.04 (5:35 pm) [edit] |
I'll make this really short cause I'm tired as hell and I hurt even worse.
My mom and stepdad have been fighting since somewhere around saturday about her getting a cell phone. He says its her 'private line' for her other boyfriends or whatever. It's really freaking me out now; cause they normally don't fight like this; I mean, cussing back and forth and being immature.
I'm totally freaked. I just want to be held so I can cry.
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| apathy |
| 07.12.04 (4:51 pm) [edit] |
Here's one of the last few pictures I made. It was... interesting. I'm not sure I like the way it turned out. -shrug- Anyway... a long day. A very long day. Yesterday was worse by far, however.
I was working in the sun all day yesterday as well as Saturday. I got home on sunday and was sick. Stupid too-much-sun-itis... LOL. I guess I was half-baked, huh? -drumroll- AHAHAHA. Sorry for the bad humor; I'm in a mood. :D
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| when life is unbearable |
| 07.06.04 (4:58 pm) [edit] |
From friday til Monday, my dad, his fiance, my 2 brothers and myself went up to Door County for a "vacation." Ha. That turned out so very well. The whole 3 hours up there, my 2 brothers were fighting, driving my dad and myself nuts. When we finally got to our condo/hotel thing, everyone was pretty pissed. My 10 year old brother kept asking to go to the pool, despite his behavior, and whined when my dad said no. It was a horrible day.
Saturday. My dad's fiance got up early and was, of course, drunk, and took my 2 brothers to the pool. My dad asked me if I would go along to make sure they were ok, and yeah, of course I did it. Then later, I spent 3 hours at a riding ranch cause everyone else was supposed to go boating. That didn't happen. My dad was super pissed. Marcia was so drunk that day; it wasn't funny. Whatever. I think it was saturday night that my dad said "I wish I had a f**king gun here; I'd put it to my head right now." Well, that made me feel so much better about everything. Thanks, Dad.
Sunday sucked. It was raining, and I was supposed to spend the day at the riding ranch to help out. I couldn't go. It was also the parade day. We almost didn't go because the 2 boys were so bad. Marcia was again wasted. Big surprise there. We stayed though. I watched Jeepers Creepers 2 that night. Awesome movie.
Monday was probably the best day cause we got to go home. It took us about 5 freaking hours to get home cause Marcia was passed out and my dad didn't know how to get back home. Nice. My dad was totally freaking out; I mean, extremely pissed off kind of freaking.
I won't go into the rest of the details, but it sucked. On the way home with my mom, I was about ready to freaking jump out of the truck and hope someone hit me. My brother was that bad. I mean, he was all "It's your fault this" and "your fault that." But of course he couldn't take any blame considering it was mostly his fault. It was probably one of my most frustratingly suicidal days yet.
I guess I really needed to vent, so thanks for listening.
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| save me |
| 06.30.04 (7:59 pm) [edit] |
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I am in such a mood right now. today was my dad's birthday and everything seemed to be going wrong for [i]me[/i]. I was getting in trouble all day for stuff that wasn't even my fault. My dad was stressed and everything, so he was especially cranky towards everyone. Then we went out to eat and it just wasn't good; cause Marcia was drunk and all. It was bad. I was about ready to start crying on the way home it was so bad. I even had fleeting thoughts of suicide. don't get me wrong, I'd never do it. I couldn't do it. -shrug- I think I'm better now, but I don't know. I really don't.
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| holy ouch |
| 06.30.04 (12:23 pm) [edit] |
In regards to the below post and everyone who's given ideas: I told Leslie that I don't really like Ed that much, and she knows that all the advice I've ever given her was ... well, good advice. lol. After the episode you'll read in a second, I don't think she should trust him! He's got too much of a temper for one; two, he's too dense to have an intelligent conversation; three, he's too self-centered and doesn't seem to really care about Leslie. Four; he's childish. "My car is faster than your car." Five; he seems to only want to date Leslie cause she's pretty. I hate it. I hate him. I don't trust him anymore; as if I really did before. gah.
I was wrestling with Leslie's boyfriend from the post below; though I really don't like him; and (but don't tell my parents!) and he was being dumb and I couldn't breathe cause he had me by my neck or.. SOMETHING! and I turned around and kicked him. I honestly couldn't see what I was kicking for, and I got him in the balls. HAHA. serves him right. Then; he throws me on the ground. Not only the ground; but the parking lot of all ground to hit. It hurt like a bitch! He walked away then. Hahahaha. I'm scraped up, but good. Then, he had the nerve to go to Leslie's house last night. I was sleeping over and stuff too. I was about ready to kill him. But I didn't.
I really think she should get rid of him, but I think she may be afraid that if she does, she'll want to go back to Scott, her abusive b/f. What I think I've figured out is that Ed is like the brick wall between her and Scott. But I've told her many times that I wouldn't let her go back to Scott. I mean, I'm only a friend, not a lover, but I could keep her from Scott. Totally understandably; she seems to view me as nothing but a small child who doesn't know anything. But I see so much more than she does! I'm not a child who can't do anything for herself. I'm 17, and I think I've proved myself plenty times for her to trust me a little more. I don't know anymore; at least right now. I really don't know.
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| HELP! |
| 06.24.04 (2:35 pm) [edit] |
I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine and she was actually talking this time! You see, every time I call her, she is very quiet and only listens, and I do most of the talking. She had a lot to say this time.
She said that the day I was going to go to her photo studio to work on senior pictures, she was with her ex-boyfriend for the day. I told her it would be easier on both of them if they just stopped seeing each other. She fully agreed, but said that Scott, (her ex) drives by her house every day, and when Ed's truck (the guy she's into, but he's married) is in her driveway, he keeps going. She said Scott stopped in sometime last week (the day I was going to do pictures) and they went for a motorcycle ride. She said that Scott is almost everything she wants in a guy; he did whatever she wanted, he bought her whatever she asked for; but on the down side of him, he's controlling, pushy, and abusive. She says that when she begins to want to be back with him, he gets pushy and reminds her of why she left.
She went back home with a hickey from him, and Ed got pissed off. Honestly, I don't see any reason for Ed to get like that. He lies to his WIFE about being with Leslie, and Scott lies to his GIRLFRIEND about being with Leslie; and she's the only one who's honest with EVERYONE!! She's so hurt and confused right now. She said that Ed told her she had to choose which guy she wanted to be with. He still runs back to his wife while being with Leslie! He shouldn't be talking!
I guess I really don't know what to do. Not like there's much I can do. I mean, I talked to her for about twenty minutes, our longest conversation ever; and I think it really helped her that I would listen. Is there really anything else I can do? Besides stand there next to her and hold her up? She says she's really confused, and I totally believe it. She was with Scott for 3 years or so. I can totally understand where she's coming from in not wanting to leave him.
What can I do? Can I really do anything but provide emotional support and someone to lean on? I have asked this question about a hundred times before, but I'm asking again in hopes of finding a solution that will help everyone.
I've been told I should be a phsycologist. LOL. Though fascinated with the human mind, I don't think I could handle everyone's problems. I mean, friends, I can deal with, but people I don't know... sorry, but be my friend and then I'll listen to ya... lol
Anyway; thanks for listening people I don't know.. lol ... and anyone I do know (shespecies, lastpoetickiss, anyone else on my buddy list) And any help you can provide is GREATLY appreciated!! :!:
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| Interesting Weekend |
| 06.20.04 (7:22 pm) [edit] |
We had just gotten home from our pony wheel event on Saturday night; somewhere around 11-ish and we were going to unload our ponies. I had unlatched the door and my mom was going to open it and it fell off its hinges and caught her on the leg. At first, I thought it had just knocked her down, but she was really freaking out; I mean, she was *really* freaking. (I would too, but it didn't happen to me.) Now I have to laugh, cause my stepdad must have dropped the "F-Bomb" about fifty times in five minutes; no joke. I mean... "F--k this, F--k that, F--k trailer, F--k ponies!"
Her ankle isn't broken though, just sprained. She's supposed to be off it for a week, and she's got crutches and everything; so what does she do? She starts walking on her ankle until I tell her to not do it.
Ok, get this. Saturday night as she was lying on the ground freaking out from pain; the first thing she says that's not "OMG I think it's broken.." is "Take the ponies home." She was so concerned about the damn ponies. It was funny, actually. And as she was in the Emergency Room waiting for her discharge papers and stuff, she was all "Now how am I going to work tomorrow?" We were supposed to do rides again today. It was one of those "just shoot me now" kinds of things. My mom was more worried about giving pony rides than recovering.
GAH!!!!
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| Personality Cocktail?? |
| 06.16.04 (7:33 pm) [edit] |
I got this from SheSpecies' Blog
| How to make a Troubledsoul |
Ingredients:
3 parts anger
3 parts silliness
3 parts leadership |
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little curiosity if desired! |
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| Black Heron |
| 06.16.04 (5:14 pm) [edit] |
Here's a picture I made for a game I play on. The horse's name is Black Heron. I love to role play, it's such an outlet for my excess emotions. A lot of people say that's bull, but I really think it's awesome. And it improves my writing skills! *grin*
![]() =http://img67.photobucket.com/...
Here's the post I wrote for a fight I'm in right now with a horse named Vogue. It's turning out to be very interesting! The horse I play in the fight is Black Plague, father of Black Heron. More or less, it's just an example of my writing skills. That and my sheer boredom!! lol
Well, it seemed Vogue had some sort of an advantage, preferring to fight in the cold. Plague enjoyed the heat, besides for his black coat, it seemed to give him energy, if you will. It made him want to move faster and get it over with quicker to be able to roll in the cool mud. Yes, the pests were worse, but it did drive him to do better and end faster. The cold made him feel a bit lethargic. Almost apathetic, as if he really didn't care. But he did. He had fought all his life and never gained anything from it. This time, he would do everything in his power to win. He was almost desperate, though the desperateness hadn't set in yet. He wouldn't be in that mood for another few battles, providing he didn't win soon.
The rain continued to fall, and if possible, it seemed to come down harder, limiting visibility to a few feet in all directions. This was a bit disconcerting, but he ignored it the best he could; as one ignores such a handicap. He continued to focus the best he could with the rain continued its onslaught, the thunder continued its cannonade, and the lightning continued its flashing, trying to blind him. This was going to prove a difficult battle, but it would be well worth the experiance he would be gaining. Any new trick that he could learn would be worth this effort he was putting in.
The hellion screamed in pain as her fore hit his leg. He was at an odd angle to her, so his splints weren't quite attacked, but his cannon was. The force she used wasn't enough to do terrible damage, though it would considerably slow him down. Blast her! He lifted his injured fore and set it down experimentally. He could walk on it he was sure, but barely. Her next attack came and it was a surprise, as he was caught slightly off-balance. Again, her angling was off and instead of attacking his ribs as she hoped to do, she barraged his chest, causing the air to be pushed out violently. He gasped for breath, but being an equine and having powerful lungs, his breath was quickly restored. A small amount of blood dripped from the new wound that was inflicted, and it did nothing but anger him further.
Knowing he couldn't move fast, and nearly panting like a dog, he again risked a shrill battle scream that echoed through the land, being mocked by a roll of thunder. He limped away from her then again closer to her. He didn't want to put too much weight on his injured fore if he could help it, but seeing as he was a quadroped, and needed all his limbs, he was forced to use the bruised limb. Every step it sent a fresh jolt of pain to his brain, and back down to the appendage, as if to remind him he was in pain. Of course, he didn't need the reminder.
With not much he could do, Plague slipped in front of the mare and used his fores to hold his bulk as he lashed out with his hinds. If the mare had her head down, at least one hoof would hit her forehead or muzzle. If she turned to either side, a hoof or even both would hit her neck or chest. Landing and leaping up to avoid using his fore as much as possible, he turned and sidled close to her, brushing past her and lashing out with his hind for the inside of her left fore, near the hind-side of the cannon bone. A direct hit would be trouble, though considering she was probably moving, it would probably only graze.
He was in serious pain now, his chest bothering him considerably, as was his right fore, but he had to press on, so he did. Once more he moved away from Vogue, ensuring he would be at least a few feet away when she attacked next. He kept his dial tucked low to his chest and flicked his soaked tail against his hind flank. Limping along, he waited. Your turn, he thought. Do what you can, and let's get it over with.
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| Hmm |
| 06.16.04 (2:19 pm) [edit] |
Tomorrow, my mom, stepdad, and I have to go to set up our pony wheel. We're doing pony rides at a rodeo. DAMN, and I wanted to stare at all the cute cowboys in wranglers! My mother is dooming me to stay single forever. -frustrated scream-
OMG, I let my mom butcher my hair... :? I asked her to cut it, nice and short, and ... erm... it's short alright. Not really bad looking, but, well, I dunno. It's not too bad, but I've seen better. lol. The *last* time my mom cut my hair, I told her it was the *last* time she would be cutting my hair... LOL. That's me for ya.
I'm off to update my mood icon so Lastpoetickiss doesn't get angry with me. :wink: I'll write again later when I have something to say.
::hugs::
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| cell phone |
| 06.14.04 (11:46 am) [edit] |
I FINALLY got a new cell phone! Mine was deactivated cause I never used it, and I finally got another one! Hurrah for me! (and my daddy who paid for part of it... and minutes!! lol) Still have to charge it, activate it, and find my phone number, but it's all good otherwise! It's a cute little nokia thing. Quite basic, but I like it. It'll do its job.
YAY!!
-hiccups- I've had the hiccups for about fifteen minutes now, and they won't go away!!! Gah! -hiccups-
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| New Updates... |
| 06.13.04 (7:11 pm) [edit] |
Well, I guess I'll have to keep my mood thing updated, cause if I don't, Lastpoetickiss is going to shoot me! LOL... -loves- Alright, just don't shoot me... stab me, fine, just don't shoot me. hehehe...
Here's to keeping my mood icon updated... ![]() =http://www.rainbowridgewines....
You're all free to grab a glass, if you like. If you want anything different, let me know. -wink- I've got a whole bar here... or, at least I do on google images... hehe
OH, and to those of you who don't drink (myself included.... though I hate this stuff...) ![]() =http://www.pointbeer.com/imag...
Much love to all!
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| Save Me |
| 06.13.04 (3:54 pm) [edit] |
I can't take it! I'm so frustrated right now, I'm at my dad's, and for the past like... 4 days, his fiance has been drunk. The WHOLE time. It bothers me that much. The smell of vodka is overwhelming, and it's starting to make me sick. I can't take it; she won't leave me alone, and I can't really talk to my dad about it, cause he knows my feelings. I'm about ready to slap the stupid drunken bitch!
Someone help me, please! I'm on the verge of tears... all day. She's been so drunk, it's sick.
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| Letter To No One |
| 06.12.04 (6:56 pm) [edit] |
In a letter that she wrote
Addressed to no one
She told of how much she wished
Someone would come along
To ease her painful doubts
To ease her troubled fears
To help her forget those she lost
Throughout all of the years.
She told of how she missed
Someone to hold her close
She told of how much she longed
To receive a red rose.
In a letter that she wrote
Addressed to no one
She told of how much she wished
Someone would come along
She told of how she longed
Someone would hold her tight
And never let her go
Keep her safe throughout the night.
She told of how she cried
From memories of long ago
How much she hated to be alone
And how cold the wind seemed to blow.
In a letter that she wrote
Addressed to no one
She told of how much she wished
Someone would come along
To tell her she was loved
To show her how much he cared
And she would tell him over again
How he had saved her from despair.
Someone that she could trust
Someone to depend on
Someone to sit and watch
Peacefully the dawn.
In a letter that she wrote
Addressed to no one
She told of how much she wished
Someone would come along
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| hmm |
| 06.11.04 (5:26 pm) [edit] |
This is an awesome image I found off of google. It's currently being used as my logo for my website, Tears of Betrayal. http://geocities.com/tearsofb... Why not check it out? :D
![]() =http://img67.photobucket.com/...
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MY CURRENT MOOD IS:
NEXT MOOD SWING: 5 MINUTES
The difficulty is not in dying for a friend, but finding a friend worth dying for.
Go away before a house falls on you too.
If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I'd take my last breath to say "I love you."
Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that's so hard.
I dream about movies
they won't make of me when I'm dead
This romeo is bleeding But you can't see his blood It's nothing but some feelings That this old dog kicked up It's been raining since you left me Now I'm drowning in the flood You see I've always been a fighter But without you I give up.
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide.
I value my friends more than my own life, so when I say you are my friend, it is just like saying you are my life.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
If your dreams are leaving you, I'll still believe in you.
to gain which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else.
I'll lean on you, and you lean on me, and we'll be ok.
Give me something to believe in
Have you ever loved somebody who never knew?
The hardest word you'll ever have to say will always be 'good-bye'
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